Premarital Sex & Caning of Women

I am just fuming. This topic has got me all riled up in a bunch. Oh, I don't know, maybe because it most likely concerns my generation, people in my age group? The many comments i've read about this topic is actually the fan to my fire.

Its not my intention to mimick Dr. Mahathir's blog style, but i need my thoughts in order

1. I am against pre-marital sex. I do think it showcases loose morals and irresponsible behaviour on both sides.

2.It is not something intrinsic of the East...it is not advocated in any religion i know. Blame the media or whatnot; it is only practised by a certain bunch of 'liberal' Americans (ie, the MTV or any form of protesting bunch which happen to get most of the airtime) and European countries, where ignorant young people compare the age of losing their virginity.... thanks to that UK has the highest incidence of teenage pregnancy. Is that really something to be proud of? Is that really 'modern' & 'progressive'? Sounds like young African tribal brides to me.

3. Most of the idiots i know who 'terlanjur' (i hate this term coz who on earth can 'accidentaly' have sex? its a lot of effort man!) usually i hear they cry after their 1st time coz of shame, 'regret', because 'it just happened' (yeah right...)...then ignore their conscience do it again & again because 'it doesnt matter anymore now that virginity is lost' and 'alang-alang'...and of course, who can deny the pleasures of sex? Now, their initial reaction of self-realization n regret MAY be described as the feeling of 'insaf'...judging by the events that followed, is it really?

4. Having said about 'insaf', lets talk about the caning of women issue. Look, i am not a die-hard fan of caning, neither am I a religious extremist, but what the hell is the big deal? Why on earth are you arguing on basis of women's rights and what nots....Men have been caned for ages and when its time for women to get cained u claim injustice... You want gender equality, you gotta take it as a whole...not 'selectively' when it suits you, you bigot. You get same jobs as the men, same opportunity as the men, same punishment as the men.

5. From what i know Shariah caning is different than the usual caning we see : the graphic images of the buttock skin torn from the many lashes revealing the angry bleeding red flesh underneath. Shariah caning is not like that. For one thing, you have clothes on. Second, it is not meant to cause permanent injury. Third, they dont use big scary rotans. Fourth, they dont ask a huge masked burly man to smack the life outta you

6. If someone is a Muslim, it is only logic to assume that they KNOW the do's & don'ts...so please dont act surprised when authorities say what you do is wrong especially when you are guilty / caught in the act (making out, consuming alcohol, lying through your teeth)...and especially, dont even bother covering it up or say it is unjust. With that, i'd like to express my respect to Kartika, because she did not petition against her punishment; she accepted that she has done wrong and deserves her sentence. It shows she is not ignorant, and that she is a woman who has self-respect.

7. Having said that, i think it is pointless for these 'raids' by Jabatan Agama Islam.... There are a lot more pressing issues to be dealth with, like ajaran sesat, high corruption, public education, reforming the eduation of Islam for the benefit of younger generations. Moral/akhlak issues are between a person and his/her immediate environment....their family, friends, teachers. It all starts from waaay back when

8. I am an advocate of educating & councelling. As i've said, premarital sex or casual sex or extramarital sex is all a reflection of loose morals...which begs the question of their upbringing. Parents should really educate their kids about the true value of sex...it is incredibly sad to see people being punished for their natural God-given urges. Or are the parents themselves behaving like reckless teenagers in heat, with their own porn stash and extra-marital affairs?

I guess that's sufficient for my 'lepas geram'. Let's all work & pray for a better future.

Polygamy?

This point of view just came to me yesterday for some reason.

Perhaps one could view the allowance of polygamy in Islam through the lens of early feminism. It could be a way of saying :

" Yeah if u still wanna go & f*ck around even though you're married then go ahead; but you're gonna have to marry that woman too. You gotta treat her well, provide for her & care for her as you do your wife. There aint no such thing as free bonus 'ride' for you, honey!
And if you STILL wanna go ahead and pursue that subsequent marriage, you can only do so with blessing from your wife. If she is kind or unconditionally patient then fine, you're safe. Otherwise you'll find yourself facing divorce, annulment or other forms of dissolution and by that you have already incurred the wrath & heartache of God for executing His least favoured of righteous acts."

Just a thought.

Doctor, doctor

As I awaken at 2am from my slumber, realizing I haven't done the presentation slides of my ICU patient, I sat on my desk and turned on my laptop. I then proceed to Facebook and Farmville, harvested my crops, commented on walls, and read a few posts. So ingrained is my routine of delaying unpleasantness, i now function my best once the world has gone to sleep. Not to mention i have grown disturbingly comfortable and skilled at churning out just-enough-for-passing-grade academic assigntments in a matter of hours. Perhaps it is now evident that i am no workaholic.

Anyway. I've been wanting to lay my opinions on the recycled issue concerning doctors : that there aren't enough doctors in Malaysia.
http://www.bharian.com.my/Current_News/BH/Wednesday/Mutakhir/20100127125427/Article/
Pure hogwash. The statement was probably true a few years back, but now with more than 20 medical schoold in Malaysia, plus the many more studying overseas, pretty soon Malaysia will be flooded with doctors. Even now, there are too many students-per-teacher, and in the working world, too many House Officers per ward.

What we need are better doctors, or perhaps more doctors with better mindsets. Ask the question, why does it seem we never have enough doctors?

Number 1, its the massive amounts of patients. Not just the usual Monday crowd (MC-seekers.) Its not that Malaysians are a sickly bunch, but most Malaysians are not medically-literate and come in too late, usually from very preventable complications. It is obvious that they have no idea what is going on with them especially when they come thinking 'angin' is the root of all evil. Headache= angin, abdominal pain = angin, chest tightness = angin, shooting nerve pain down the leg = angin. But, one good thing with these patients is that they are more likely to stick to one doctor, although by no means are they more compliant to medication and therapeutic advice.

Number 2, the certain bunch of demanding patients. Not every headache is a brain tumour, and most headaches dont need a demand for a CT scan. Dont believe everything you see on Spektra or House or Grey's. Doctors in private hospitals would probably entertain such requests, because they dont have a long waiting list plus the extra money in their pocket, justified as "for the patient's own ease of mind". Wouldn't it be better if these resources are used for the people who actually need it? In government hospitals, the doctors would tell you to go fly kite...then doctors get the bad press. These bunch of patients are the ones who go 'doctor hopping', which is not good. One visit to a doctor who didnt 'cure' them, they find another doctor a few days later who can give 'better medicine'. This is potentially dangerous because without existing records, there is no continuity of care.

Here's an example of unrealistic expectations of a patient :
http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/index.php/opinion/sazlin-daud/47633-doctor-doctorcant-you-see-im-waiting-waiting

But of course, doctors are not without faults. More often than not they are too focused on what they need to do for/to the patient that they forgot that they have not explained much to the patient what is going on. I've read somewhere that doctors overestimate the time they spend with patients by 900%. Now as a student, that is where i come in. Whenever i speak to my patients, young or old, i try my best to talk to them as friends. Hopefully if they are receptive, then they feel more at ease and open to ask me stuff, and I will gladly explain what i know about their condition.

For example, my Gynaecology patient was admitted for heavy periods, but she was also desperate to conceive and she asked me to help her understand the various methods of assisted conception. Then there was this man at the ENT clinic whose wife was having her ear examined & cleaned because an insect flew in it. We were both looking at the monitor (along with many other nurses & medical students) and i just asked him what happened. Then i just pointed to the screen and told him that the white thing was the eardrum, and that was where the insect was attached too. The a big ooooOOhhh came from him, learning a bit of trivia, almost with a hint of amazement for seeing an actual eardrum for the first time. Also like my uncle, curiously listening to his son's heartbeat with my stethoscope. Then there was this man back in Klang who had a heart valve condition (if i'm not mistaken) and having students flock around him day-in and day-out to have a listen at his heart. His daughter was there when it was my turn, and I told them that because of his condition his heart sound was different from the norm, and as students we had to learn to differentiate. I also demonstrate how it was different, and if i remember correctly i even offered my stethoscope.

PATIENT EDUCATION. Get them interested with their own health and illness. No time to counsel? Provide useful reference or websites. In short, i completely disagree with extending compulsory government service. I also believe that as long we provide f.o.c healthcare, peeple will not wise-up and take responsibility of their health, because they do not understand the cost of the medications & equipment used. I am of the opinion that the resources should be focused on patient education and more community outreach programmes. Don't even get me started on medical tourism. Look inwards and improve the health of Malaysian citizens first before offering 7-star treatment to foreign patrons. To paraphrase a Malay proverb : dont go breastfeed baby monkey in jungle while your own baby dying of hunger.

Time to get back to calculating my patient's potential death risk.... (does anybody know how to work the APACHE score??)

You Got Mail

My grandmother sent me an SMS earlier today saying a package just arrived for me from Australia. I've got a package!!! No, not a-dick-in-a-box a la Justin Timberlake, (neither do i wish to receive one...its just creepy) but rather a small parcel I've been expecting; a gift from my oldest friend in every way, Sufia.

And behold! As if right on cue (with reference to my previous post) it is a small Quran with english translation. Somehow i knew that that was the thing she wanted to give me...after all a few months back i did ask if she knew where i could get 1 for myself; and i wanted it to be in english, and prefereably not Shakespearean english, but she had given hers away to someone. Put it this way : if I was going to get a Quran from someone, it would either be from Sufia or MJ (Maktok Jumabee, my paternal grandmother).

A few months back, i received a package from the UK. This time it was academic; I had asked Ili Liyana for a copy of the BNF (British National Formulary) which is like a 'dictionary for drugs'...they get it f.o.c there while here in Malaysia the price is around RM100!!

Then a few weeks before that, i received the most adorable home-made (or at least self-modified) card from another of my favourite-test people on earth : Azlaili!!! All the way from Savannah, Georgia...partying in the USA. A card for no special occasion, just an old-fashioned token of friendship to say 'hey' and 'be happy' and 'all the best for everything'. Opening that little envelope made my day.

Isn't it fun to open mail, cards, and personal letters? Perhaps i'll take this moment to lament on the fact that most of the time nowadays the postal service is used for bills, formal application forms/notifications, advetisements and catalogues. At least this is the case for my mother back in Penang....and my grandmother in PJ (except that she looks forward to her subscription of National Geographic / TIME / Readers Digest among other things). I remember the days, about 15 years ago (damn! damn!) back in school, it was so much fun slipping Hari Raya or Chinese New Year or Deepavali or Christmas cards into my classmates' desk or bags. Or receiving birthday cards and presents....something tangible that i can hold.

Nowadays, with the advent of handphones, SMS, emails and social networking sites, all wishes are conveyed via Facebook wall, or hp inbox, or Friendster page. The most personal thing you'll get is a phone call, and I appreciate them dearly (especially due to its sheer scarcity). Quoting Azlaili, Facebook dilutes friendship. Technology is not without its perks, but i believe it is limited to the sake of connectivity and networking. Nothing can substitute face-to-face encounters. The best substitue to that are letters (not emails!!) and phone calls, because there is always that 'personal touch' and effort. I call often and I love to meet up, but I'm guilty of not writing...I hardly give presents coz I never know what to buy!

Perhaps I'll start sending out letters/cards like my friends, paying it forward. Reciprocity. That is the key to make anything work. Maybe it will even be therapeutic for me, and hopefully bring some joy in their lives. First, i'll have to imrpove my penmanship and buy nice cards coz it will be horrible for me to attempt 'decorating' them.

That's all. Till next time, good night.

24 = Jack Bauer?

Hahaha, I wish! Well its 2010, and I turn 24 in May. Does that mean i can also turn into super-cool multipotential CTU Federal Agent Jack Bauer, from the TV series 24? Unfortunately, no.
With a heavy heart I must admit that i am now in my mid-twenties... no longer a teen/adolescent...not even a young adult anymore.

Perhaps after 2 weeks of writing on heavy stuff (refer my previous posts) both on my blog & on my Facebook, i finally came to the realization (yet again) that :
1) i am not governing this country
2) i am not a politician
3) the decision-makers of Malaysia aren't listening to me speficially, thus what i have to say makes no difference whatsoever
4) last but not least, the most important of all........... I am still a medical student, undergrad, i am nobody...YET

And with that, i revert to lighter issues such as how much i adore the movie Sherlock Holmes, or my newfound admiration for the writings of Farish A. Noor, the chocolate fondue party i hosted in my hostel room, my awesome weekend with my favourite friend oNe, reflecting on my long overdue workout session....and perhaps most urgently (yet least impotant to me) my assignments & reports and their sneaky deadlines.

Nevermind that, what I do want to write about is this : I turn 24 this year, so what do i want to achieve? Here's a bunch of things i wanna do before i turn 30. In no particular order:
1) learn Mandarin
2) learn guitar
3) study the Al-Quran
4) lose weight!!!!
5) be able to cook basic meals
6) pave my way for medical-related community outreach programmes, or Drs without borders
7) decide & proceed with my post-grad specialty of choice
8) road trip around Malaysia (the Peninsular at least!)
9) back-packing / travel to Europe or US
10 ) revisit & relive my love of performing arts

10 things. Even if i dont manage to check all of them, i'll be happy. Also, i made it a point to write down only the things that are within my control; not things like get married & hv 2 kids & hv RM******* in my account & migrate to Maldives. I think my dreams are somewhat attainable, dont you think?

I guess that's all for tonight. I'd better get cracking on my case reports & prepare for the viva tomorrow. Wish me luck!!