Tuesday, September 15, 2009

A Voice Within

Whenever I lay down to sleep at night, I find my mind wandering. Reflecting on the day's events, a trip to the past, pondering on future undertakings. Then i start talking to myself and question everything. My mistake of the past few years was believing that my brain was the superior inner voice and thus i had to oblige, despite of difficulty, uneasiness, and challenges. Undoubtedly this has pushed me to to succeed, with ability to see the rationale of things, made me decide to do things i would normally delay or shy away from...all because i can weigh the pros and cons, see the obvious shortcomings of the situations to stay away from or take risks that seem unnecessary.

But when you lay in the quiet stillness of the night and talk to yourself, there are always two voices : one asking the questions, and the other giving the answers. There is always one voice that drills into you 'the realities of life', of responsibilities and obligations; and the other voice that soothes and tells you that things are manageable, 1 step at a time. The first voice is one that comes from the brain, 'the voice of reason' so to speak. And the other, comes from your soul and this is 'the voice within'.

This inner voice, I belive, comes from a place of calmness, kindness and compassion. It is a presence, that you can feel around some people whenever you speak to them and suddenly feel safe, like everything will be alright. You just feel like opening up, telling them everything that has happened in your life, even though you're newly acquainted. Everyone possesses this quality, but very few channel it to shine through. The demands of everyday life has subconsciously programmed people to exist at a 'functional' level. Social contacts are many yet shallow, with very few going beyond the daily hellos and occasional coffee...be it family, friends or colleagues.

I believe this inner voice is a blend of our conscience, spirituality and intuition. Listen to it. It speaks of your deepest desires and needs. It is the truest form of expression, it speaks of your inner hopes and enlightens our quiet desperations. It is not easy to hear this voice, with the mess of everyday demands or deadlines getting in the way. Perhaps, this is the reason any spiritual leaders advocate meditation. In the past, all the gurus, philosophers, prophets, artists, writers, scholars...all whom we draw inspiration from, they all meditate...eventually they hit a stroke of brialliance, an epiphany, a breakthrough. And it is at this moment, I believe, that the inner voice comes from God. Even Nabi Muhammad received the words of God being by himself, meditating in the cave. It is a voice of warmth, and of love.

Do not push aside this inner voice. On many occasions, i believe it has helped me resolved many subconscious entanglements that i just couldnt see. It helped me see my mother's unending lonliness, my friend's unspoken pain, a friend's unadressed guilt, my sister's mounting tensions, my own forgotten dreams. Long before this epiphany, i've known that i've always done my best to remain open and sincere, searching for this deeper understanding with the people i meet. It truly is a gift to be able to share warmth with those around you. Listen to the voice and let it out, by word or action, or even presence. Its truth need not be spoken but to be sensed. And just as its presence, its withdrawal can be felt too.

I am glad to be able to jot this down, as many more of my philosophical journeys have been lost due to the lack of writing material or internet connection. Well, this lesson that i learnt about listening to my inner voice is one i do not wish to let go. The voice of reason shall play a lesser role for no human is made entirely of intellect and logic.

So there is, one of my new philosophies. I hope it makes sense to you reading it. Take care.