The Tioman Excursion

Hello everyone!
I just got back from Tioman Island. I had been talking about getting my scuba liscence for years, and been planning this trip for months; the only obstacle (albeit a huge one) was passing my MBBS...and i did it! So this little diving trip is a reward, a vacation and a dream fulfilled. More about my diving course in the next post.

My trip was from 16th-21st April, with Loo Kar Yee (the same gal i went to Korea with last year) and Avni (my classmate & seeming to b a new permanent fixture in my life)...the night before the trip, Karyee dropped a bomb saying the brother was coming along...tickets were already bought, room reservations were already made...oh well, her problem; i thought.

That morning my aunt dropped Avni & I at an LRT station...we made our way to sentral, then taking the KLIA Transit to Bandar Tasik Selatan where we were supposed to meet Karyee n board the bus. It was almost 9 and Karyee was nowhere in sight...when i called her, she dropped another bomb : she thought the bus was at 9.30!!! Mind you, she was holding ALL our tickets. I was majorly let down and was ready to cut my losses, but somehow Avni managed to negotiate with the bus driver to let us aboard without having the tickets.

5 hours or so later we arrived at Mersing. Took a cab to the jetty where we agreed to meet Karyee & brother. Within 2 minutes Avni got impatient and dropped a bomb : said she doesn't wanna wait till 4.30 and wants to get on the 3pm ferry instead. Personally i prefer everyone to just stick together. My preference aside, we got on the ferry, arrived in Tioman 2 hours later and headed to Eco-Divers to confirm my diving course. Thankfully they were able to accommodate another student (Yi Hou, Karyee's brother).

Next we walked to the end of the beach to Nazri's place, where we made our reservation. Unfortunately, there was only one budget room available. We walked back, stopping at every chalet asking for available rooms. It was 6pm and most of the chalets had noone attending at the reception. Then Avni dropped another bomb : she's not willing to pay 50 bucks a night. Mind you, MOST of the chalets cost around 100 bucks per night. She intended to bunk in with me and karyee and split it 3 ways...but now with Yi Hou in the picture....she wanted all 4 of us to bunk in one room. That's it, bitch mode is on. I'm not willing to spend my vacation all crammed, and sorry, i'm not willing to share rooms with a guy.

We walked on till we reached Mawar Chalets. We checked out the cheapest room, RM35 for a fan chalet...Avni wanted it, I didnt. I refuse to spend my vacation battling mosquitoes in a shabby room with only a wall fan that looked even more rickety than the one i had in my hostel. So, NO. We looked at the air-conditioned room...it was larger, with a queen size & a single bed...cost 100 bucks a night, excluding food. We took 2 rooms...one for Avni & i, the other for Karyee & Yi Hou. After putting our bags down, we headed further down the beach to B&J, a different branch of the dive shop where Avni had her initial scuba course. She asked about completing her certification, then once that's settled we headed to the jetty and watched the sunset....

Finally, Karyee and her brother arrives. I filled them in with what's goin on. On the up side, at least Mawar Chalets is closer to Eco-Divers. We had dinner, walked around, and headed for bed. now THAT was a bumpy first day.

Anyway...truth be told i was very disappointed that night and the following night...wondering to myself : is this how its gonna be for the rest of the trip? I initially regretted choosing to stay at that beach (ABC) because it was mostly rocky & full of corals, with only a few sandy patches along the shoreline. But on the up side, the water was really clear, clean and calm...This stretch of beach had chalets...several restaurants with very similar menus...a few convenience shops...and even fewer souvenir shops. A dive centre here & there, a few bars, and that's about it. And you know what, the forest is right behind you so there's bugs & frogs, monkeys in the morning & evening.....and i can assure you, you WILL come across a monitor lizard every single day.

Towards the end of the trip, i kinda got used to the surroundings...and thankfully the 4 of us got along great. And as expected, none of us wanted to leave the island. On our last night there, Karyee and i just sat by the beach at Sunset bar, enjoying the atmosphere and chatting about our dive trips, dreaming of future dives. We were savouring the moment as certified open water divers...wohoo! Avni & Yi Hou joined us later...they were busy trying to capture photographs of the lightning. Karyee and i just lazed there enjoying the lightning like a quiet fireworks display. At that moment, i felt so relaxed. I didnt realize how stressed/tensed i was before....it was a distant memory

Back in the room, slowly packing...suddenly Avni n i found ourselves at war with a grasshopper....or whatever it was. Haha...evetually i managed to get it out of our room. The next morning we had breakfast, said goodbye to Eco-Divers & Kelsey, my lovely instructor. We got on the 9.30 ferry, and then managed to get on to the 12.30 bus to KL...All through the bus ride, i slowly felt reality seeping back in....all my worries, the endless to-do list, official tasks, private dilemmas....all of em....I miss the island already. Then, on to the KLIA Transit to KL Sentral where we parted with Karyee & Yi Hou. Avni & I had dinner and took a cab back to my grandma's place in PJ.

Haaaahhh.....what a life.

The Mandatory Pre-Wedding Course

You read that right.

Nope, I'm not getting married anytime soon.

Its been a long time since i've attended anything Islamic...(sounds bad, i know)...the last was probably back in high school...almost 10 years ago.

I've heard a lot of (negative) things about these courses..about how narrow & sexist the scope is, bringing the gender roles back to the olden days, how the speakers makes cheapshot jokes whenever it comes to sex....

I honestly did try to go into it objectively. Hoping to get some knowledge, or refresh what i already know.

I was rather disappointed.

We had 5-6 speakers scheduled for different topics.

Most of the speakers were sharing their experience working in the Pejabat Agama rather than adhering to the course contents (nerd alert!)...On one hand it had the effect of making the session less formal, but on the other hand i feel i didnt learn much at all. I guess i'll just rely on the handouts.

I don't mind dirty jokes. But in this context, i.e pre-wedding course, where the aim is to prepare young (presumed sexually inactive) couples for what lies ahead.....well, i expect a serious and informative discussion about sex. I may be biased because sexual & reproductive health is kinda my pet subject, being the daughter of an O&G specialist & being in the healthcare line myself....at times i felt i could deliver some of the content better/more accurately. Anyway. They kept emphasising on the wife's role of fulfilling her husband's sexual needs...barely mentioning Rasulullah's emphasis on foreplay. Basically the way it was presented, it was as if sexual satisfaction is the responsibility of the wife...or, like what the ustaz said, "jangan bengap" (dont be daft)

Then comes the polygamy talk/jokes. I accept that polygamy is allowed, so i understand the need to mention it during the course. But the way i see it, it doesnt need emphasis because it is merely an option IF the man is qualified for it. Bottomline, it is another marriage; all basic rules and concepts apply so lets just try learn the basis of one and make it work first.

Then there's the bit about maintaining good relationship with the in-laws...communication...prayers...paperwork...

Ooh...one of the other things that irked me was how much they emphasise on a wife's obedience. Don't get me wrong, i am not against that. But how come there wasn't as much emphasis on a husband's moral responsibility? Most of the emphasis on a husbands responsibility was focused on financial & material. And even THEN, the wife is encouraged to help out...the way the husband is expected to help with housework. They neglect to emphasise on how the husband is the head of the household, on how he is the role model as well as provider, and how he can lose his 'rights' over a wife if he has neglected his responsibility...which can be the basis for a wife to file for divorce.

Things like these makes me want to learn more about my religion and become an ustazah sometimes....just so my 2 cents worth would mean something.

I'm not here to question Islamic rulings/boundaries/standards/definition.

Lets just view this from a purely academic point of view.

The aim of these courses is to create good, healthy Islamic marriages and secondarily hope to reduce the rate of divorces by ensuring young couples know what they are getting into. It hopes to provide a reality check by sharing the procedures involved, sharing common problems encountered within the Pejabat Agama and the FAQs.

I think the course contents meet the objectives, but the presentation distracts & digress.

I think the interpretation of gender roles is rather literal with inequal emphasis of responsibilities, character and rights.

I think the procedures on marriage and divorce should be presented very clearly.

I think the topic on sexual relationship should be dealt with more structure and tact.

I think the course modules need to be more 'streamlined' & fine-tuned so that each component has equal representations.

Maybe if i'm up for it, i'll share the modules and my ideas to tweak it up.

As of now, I'm just waiting for my certificate to be ready....and waiting for Mr. Right of course :)

Jodoh?

"You might be married to the worst man on earth, like Asiah who married Pharoah, but it didn’t change her goodness or her aqidah. You might be married to the best man on earth, like Prophet Lut’s wife, yet that doesn’t mean you’re going to Jannah with him. You might not be married at all, like our beloved Maryam (raa) yet Allah swt places your status above all other women on earth. Have faith in Allah always & place your full trust in Him. He’s the central focal point of our lives." [Heba El-Haddad]

I woke up this morning with that quote ringing in my mind...I had read it a few days ago but somehow its effect on me is only surfacing today.

Anyway. Jodoh. What IS jodoh?

I dont have the english word for it though.

Most people translate this literally as 'mate'...most in my social circle translate jodoh to mean spouse & the relationship between them.

I don't believe in those definitions. They are too short-sighted and narrow, especially when you integrate religion and life experiences and philosophical ideas of marriage and relationships into it.

Jodoh. Just like our life and death/ajal...it is all pre-determined. My understanding of jodoh is more of a concept of predetermined soulmates.

"Exalted is He who created all pairs - from what the earth grows and from themselves and from that which they do not know."- Yaasiin, 36.

Everyone has their jodoh.

And you will be with your jodoh in Heaven thereafter. Whether or not you are lucky enough to meet your jodoh in this life, is a different story. Some people may never meet their jodoh, as jodoh includes lives lost in aborted fetuses, deaths in children, etc.

The Malays always say 'dah tak ada jodoh' whenever a relationship/marriage fails...how can that be, when God Himself has created you and your jodoh? The logical reason is, he/she wasn't your jodoh in the first place. He/She was a rezeki, a blessing for that period of time. You mean to say if you do marry again, you found another jodoh? Let me ask you, does ajal come twice?

Lets say you have an illness, that doesnt mean you know how your ajal will come.

Similarly, just because you are in a relationship, does not mean you have found your jodoh.

Bottomline : only God knows whether or not you are with your jodoh.

Be the best you are, and be grateful for the person that you have.

45 days to go...

Its February 2012.

I have 45 days to go to my final exams.

Will I be able to sit for it this time?

Will I pass on my first attempt?

Am I prepared?

Big questions. Monumental consequences.

Alas, once again i find myself distracted. It is 2012 and i turn 26 this year. The clock is ticking...y'all know what i mean.

Me exams and results should be done by early April...results and all. Impatiently, i have my April planned. Travels to Sabah to meet friends and hands-on with K.I.D.S...Finally getting my scuba licence in Tioman. Heck I'll go by myself if i got noone to come with.

I have a whole life in front of me, standing deliciously close.

So close i don't see what's in front of me : assignments, mugging hours,classes. urgh

So here's to me finding my focus and motivation for my final MBBS.

Cheers.

Leaving On a Jet Plane

At last, my long awaited trip to Korea is finally here. I shall board my plane in exactly 7 hours. I am both nervous and excited.

Back in July (i think) when we had our OMHS program, my group had to do some research on the Role of Health Officers in the Import and Export of Food Products. That was out main topic. From there we branched out; we drafted a separate research paper on palm oil, Malaysia's biggest export. Our supervisor disagreed, saying it is not enough for our main report. So instead of scraping the idea, we wrote a separate abstract(summary) and submitted it to the APACPH Committee. We settled our main report, presented it, and left it there. Fast forward a dew weeks and behold: your abstract has been accepted for the 43rd APACPH Conference in Seoul, South Korea.

Ooh, the excitement that came over our group was feverish. Over the next few days, word got out and it was all any of us could talk about. Our mismatched group of 4 : myself, Loo Kar Yee, Nur 'Afeena Al-Fahmi and Mukhlis Ahmad Azam became the envy of other group members. Hahaha....I was almost immediately worried : crap, we only have an abstract, what on earth are we going to present????

Well, we got to work on sponsorship. First, from the university : UM agreed to sponsor our conference fees, USD250 per person. So we bought our flight tickets by individual means, registered and RSVP-d our attendance for the conference. Next we tried the Clinical Research Committee for sponsorship....no avail. Then I emailed the Korean Embassy and received no reply. Afeena contacted the Malaysian Palm Oil Board who declined to provide sponsorship. As much as our Korea trip was starting to become a reality, the picture seemed rather bleak.

Until, Hari Raya came along...I was telling my mother our progress and our sponsorship predicament when she uttered the magic words : I'd rather pay for your trip and let you all focus on your studies and presentation rather than let you waste time focusing on the nitty-gritty stuff. And with that, we had RM 5000 in bank! I could almost feel the energy revive within my group.

Kar yee : this is not a dream is it?

Afeena : you mom is so generous!! how are we gonna thank her?

Mukhlis : Dima i love your mom...muahks aunty, muahks!

And with that, i immediately started researching and planning out 10-day trip. Drafted out the itinerary, discussed with my groupmates and estimated the costs. Then came the icing on the cake : my grandmother was willing to give us RM2000. And with that, ALL our expenses are taken care of : flight tickets to Jeju island, accommodations for Jeju and the conference, subway passes, as well as all the entry fees for our sightseeing.

Once all of that was settled came the work : our poster. We sat and discussed, but not much research was available online. Time was of the essence : we were in different postings and it was difficult to find time to visit and meet people. The 3 of them went to the Malaysian Palm Oil Board library and did the research; then Karyee and I read through the papers, I drafted the bulk of the report while Afeena and Kar Yee filled the gaps and did the nitty-gritty. When I was done, Kar Yee and Mukhlis summarised it and designed the poster, Afeena checked with our supervisor and settled the printing. Whew! All in the span of 4 weeks. Yet we still found time to go shopping for shoes & gloves.

Korea is finally a reality. And in just a few hours, we will regroup at the LCCT. My neurotic side is already kicking in : did i pack enough stuff? Is it the correct clothes? Will we be able to stick t our plan? Do i have enough stamina for all this? Is my cash & passport safe? What else do i need?

so that's the story of how this trip came to be. Leaving On a Jet Plane...the song has been stuck in my head since last night. Oh well, i better go check my packing one last time. Goodbye, Malaysia! I'll see you in 10 days.