Reflections of 2013

New Year's Eve.
The New Year.

It has always been my favourite holiday in the entire year. Perhaps it is the spirit of hope and new beginnings that i relish...a time to forgive yourself and start anew, a blank slate. A time where people reflect on the year that's ending, wondering on the ups & downs and memorable experiences. I'm here to do the same.

Let's see.

 On the job front, 2013 is the bulk of my Housemanship training. Started the year finishing Orthopaedics, went on to Surgery, then Medical, and now Paediatrics. I'm proud to say I'm surviving! Better yet, I realized I do enjoy working in the medical field; although not in its entirity but enough to keep me going. In my 2 stints as HO Team Leader, may I say I think I did a pretty good job: everybody got the leaves they wanted, everybody who wanted to go home for elections managed to do so, no team/ward had to function with shortage for extended periods (I was lucky we had enough manpower during my time), and nobody died! Haha. There will always be disgruntled customers though.... I admit the stress got to me; I wasn't particularly cheerful/pleasant to be around.

Oh well.

 I met several patients that turned my gut inside out, patients that remind me that there is good in this world, patients that show me that love isn't an abstract concept, patients that made me regret entering this profession, patients that make me question my future and the direction I'm heading. I've had bosses who have shown great appreciation for my smallest, most measly contributions, and others who disregard all I've done after one blunder; seniors who were patient with me and generous with their knowledge, how I wish i could thank them all!
And so, I welcome 2014 (hopefully) with my most anticipated posting, Obstetrics & Gynaecology.
And I say....bring it on!

On the er..."recreation" front.


Well, I'm glad to say I managed 2 dive trips this year, a total of 7 dives; all of them in Sabah. And it was wonderful. The planning and anticipation starts looong before the actual trip, and each correspondence via email with the dive companies fans my excitement! And because I go by myself, I get assigned random diving buddies. Met a bunch of almost-graduating medical students from UK, a Canadian (teacher, was it?) who was also travelling alone, a Singaporean father of 2 who just recently introduced his children to the joys of the beach, a lady from Holland who is taking her Divemaster course. The instructors were just as colourful : local Sabahans (one with the same name as my Dad, mind you...funny coincidence he was my partner on my birthday), Filipinos, English-Iban....

Even the boat ride to the dive sites was liberating....I find freedom in the whirring engine, splashing foam, and blasting winds....I didn't even care if it was raining. Then there's the dive itself....It's fun to tumble from the boat...scary when i first decend and adjust my buoyancy....even scarier (but empowering) is when you realize that you are voiceless under the sea. It is just you, your thoughts, and the wonders of nature. Knowing that even 2 dives at the same spot on the same day will never be identical, makes each dive special.

Aside from diving, I also went to Singapore twice....for musical theatre!

Since I've started working I know it will be close to impossible for me to dabble in theatre again...I have looked up classes/workshops but fitting it into my schedule is a bitch! (even with me making the master timetable!). So instead, i participate in the audience.

I went to see Dirty Dancing, which was totally  amazing (say what you will!). I was in the very front row, and the energy of it all was radiant! Oooh, how I wish i wasn't the uncoordinated klutz that I am... I got a bonus:

managed to meet the cast a few hours after the show....in the gelato shop next door! Beautiful people,

talented people, and friendly.

The following month, I went again for The Phantom of The Opera. I admit, watching it live is one of my so-called 'bucket list' items. I haven't crossed it off though....I wanna see it again someday in Broadway or West End....or even Sydney...Somewhere that I know the opera house/theatre has the capacity to house a show of this calibre....Some time when I have more money! But yeah, the experience was wonderful. I was lucky to watch Brad Little play The Phantom : a role he has played on stage over 2000 times!

What else...
On the "close to home" part..

I lost an aunt to breast cancer. I admit, i barely knew her, but we bonded over long chats of life, religion, and relationships during my med school final exams. We never got to meet up; I kept postponing it and she was never quite well. Her passing caught me off-guard, and I managed to persuade my relatives to take me to Melaka for her funeral.

My sister graduated with her ATCL Diploma, something she has worked so hard for despite my family's initial resistance : her passion for music. If there's something I admire about my sister is that she knows what she wants and is not afraid to get it, by whatever means necessary. Having said that, it was the proudest moment of her life, even more than graduating from law school...and now she's doing her Masters in Music, right back in the family Alma Mater, Universiti Malaya. And, she's a tutor there too! For the generation of school-leavers enrolled in the Foundation programme....which, if I may add, that she helped to draft and got it running! So yeah, I'm proud of my sister, I know she's happy. Oh and did I mention that she has a guy who is, honest-to-God, truly cares for her? In the (2-years?) that they've been together, he has never made her cry, he's always there for my sister, more than I ever was. I just wish family politics could stay out of it. I wish them happiness, I know my sister is happy...maybe even at peace in comparison to her previous years.

My mother has a new pool! It's totally awesome. I brought my highschool friends+baby for a swim! It was a great weekend. Overall, I'm glad that my relationship with mum has improved....I think in large part because I'm working, and doing OK...finally, I'm not a loser after all. I admit, I shut her out a lot....I can't bear to show her my moment of weakness and vulnerability....I only call her once everything is OK, so that she KNOWS I'm OK. I can't imagine life without her. Everytime I think about it,it breaks my heart that she's all alone in Penang...not because she's dependent of fragile or can't survive....she's MAMA! But I just don't want her to be alone.

My dad, on the other hand...well, I haven't spoken to him in 3 months. Let's leave it at that.

Both my grandmothers are healthy. Each day they're around is a blessing. Somehow, my grandmothers manage to zero me on reality whenever i get to caught up in something. My mum's mum just KNOWS whenever i seem a lil off...i wonder if she bugged my room... My dad's mum, in her more conservative ways, always manages to remind me that I need my family, and how I yearn for structure and stability.

Oh, 2013 is also the year i gor my own vein cannulated for the first time, on account of terrible gastritis, to rule out pancreatitis!  2013 is also the first time i got my hair dyed :)

So I guess that's it!
That's all I can think of, my 2013 in a nutshell.
I have an inkling to what 2014 has in store for me :
-decisions on career path
-turning 28 (yikes!)
-building/finding stability

Have a Happy New Year.
Cheers!